Archives for posts with tag: marriage

tombstone-with-broken-vaseHere’s my first Blasts from the Past installment. Even though this post is a decade old, it still hits particularly close to home, as I’ve been thinking about this story a lot over the past year and a half since my sister died. I even called the chaplain to thank him for his example in grieving in grace; knowing that it’s okay to let your sorrow show, seeking and accepting grace from others, but also to give others grace as they navigate the turbulent waters of loving you in your grief.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Till Death Do Us Part

In all my quarter-life thoughts about marriage, this is not a phrase I have spent enough time contemplating, or at least not in the right way. I have recently realized that in spending a considerable amount of time weighing the gravity of the lifetime commitment of “to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part,” I have overlooked the eternal ramifications of “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

A week ago, one of our chaplains lost his wife to a long battle with a particularly rare form of cancer. He’s taking it very hard, as well he should. He’s lost the women who he fell in love with at first sight. I’ve heard the story once or twice, but it’s just as beautiful no matter how many times I hear it.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Who, day and night, must scramble for a living,
Feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers?
And who has the right, as master of the house,
To have the final word at home?
The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.

Who must know the way to make a proper home,
A quiet home, a kosher home?
Who must raise the family and run the home,
So Papa’s free to read the holy books?
The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!
~“Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof

Tradition is a funny thing. Some traditions are unique to a family or a culture, and some are universal. Over years and generations, customs change, sometimes morphing into something else altogether. Lately, I’ve been pondering traditions that have become seemingly obsolete in today’s culture: family dinner, Sunday brunch, date night. At the top of the list are gender roles.

Here’s the deal: while talking to an acquaintance the other night, I was startled to hear him note that in the several years he spent as a single in Atlanta, he never once had to ask a woman out. Even his wife was the first one to ask him out. After I chided him, he admitted he would have asked women on dates, but simply never got the chance. They always beat him to the punch. Based on traditional gender roles, there is something seriously wrong with this picture.

But what exactly are the traditional gender roles?

Read the rest of this entry »

Singleness is not a disease to be cured; it is a stage of life to be enjoyed. Too often, we try to rush through it.”

I had another article picked up by!