Archives for posts with tag: relationships

A few months ago, I wrote a post encouraging you to savor the moment. Since then, I have been trying to practice what I preached. As it turns out, in order to truly appreciate the present, one must maintain a healthy reflection of the past and an unwavering hope for the future.

How many people do you know can honestly claim to consistently approach life this way? Hopefully, you can name a few. I can think of a handful of people who encourage this kind of thinking in my life. While a few select peers pepper the list, the lion’s share consists of men and women who have experienced so much more than your average Gen Y-er could even begin to imagine.

And why should we?

I’ll tell you why.

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Like Shakespeare’s Hamlet, over-thinking might just turn out to be my fatal flaw. While the prince of Denmark came to ruin because he thought too much when it was time to act, my troubles come from thinking too much about actions already taken.

This summer has not been the best for me; some rough patches left me hurt and dejected. I believe there’s a greater purpose to it all, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. What’s worse, my mind keeps reliving it all over and over and over, like a broken cinema reel.

Whether you believe in it or not, the Bible makes a good point when it instructs its readers to “take captive every thought.” With someone like me, who dwells on too many things too much of the time, taking captive every thought turns out to be quite the challenge. Taking this into consideration, I decided I needed to start small. Baby steps.
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While walking along the shore, I happened upon a sand castle. It seemed to have been made with loving care; intricate designs scalloped into its surface. Only the best sand had been used to make this castle. Cylindrical turrets stood sentinel along the mighty fortress wall and in the center loomed a stately tower. Little windows were carved in a couple of centimeters so that one might pretend to see inside. I planted myself a few feet away from the sandy manor, rolled onto my tail bone, wrapped my arms around my drawn-in legs, rested my chin on my knees, and imagined sweeping ceilings lined with crown molding, marble pillars, and intimate trinkets lining handmade shelves and cases.

I dreamed of enormous ballrooms with brilliant chandeliers and private quarters with crackling fireplaces and cozy down comforters. Perhaps the tower housed an octagon-shaped library with one of those attached rolling ladders, each wall book-lined from floor-to-vaulted-ceiling. Except, perhaps, for a large bay window kissing a cushioned cubby seat where one could curl up with whichever fruit of literature was picked from the surrounding grove of paper, glue, and weathered bindings.
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It’s just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It’s just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
~ “Crush” Jennifer Paige

Dusk is my favorite time of day. I just love being able to drive around with my headlights and sunglasses on. Last night, as I was driving with the windows down and the radio up, Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” came on, and I could only think of one thing: Matt Krueger.

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My Hall Tree

I’m a shopper. It’s one of my releases. I like to hunt down the “perfect” something for my wardrobe or home or whatever it is. The Internet has done nothing but exaggerate my obsessions. There was the great boot hunt of 2009. And then the great boot hunt of 2010. I like boots.

There was the hall tree hunt this past spring, which led to my mother driving from Wisconsin to Tennessee with a very large box for a very short trip. But I have my hall tree. (Since you probably don’t know what a hall tree is, I’ve provided a picture.)

Over the past few years, I have searched for a new duvet and a storage headboard for my bedroom, curtains and pillows for the living room, pots and pans for the kitchen… basically, a new home without the house. Until now.

That’s right: I am now house hunting, and no amount of shopping could have prepared me for this. Usually, I seek for a while and then find something that fits the bill. The biggest purchase I’ve made thus far was my Jetta last fall. Shoes and duvets and curtains can be easily replaced. A house? A house needs to be, well, perfect.

Only that’s just it. In just the short time that I’ve been house shopping, I’ve come to the realization that not everything is perfect. Sometimes things are just right.

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***For an update on this topic, please visit***

Who, day and night, must scramble for a living,
Feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers?
And who has the right, as master of the house,
To have the final word at home?
The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.

Who must know the way to make a proper home,
A quiet home, a kosher home?
Who must raise the family and run the home,
So Papa’s free to read the holy books?
The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!
~“Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof

Tradition is a funny thing. Some traditions are unique to a family or a culture, and some are universal. Over years and generations, customs change, sometimes morphing into something else altogether. Lately, I’ve been pondering traditions that have become seemingly obsolete in today’s culture: family dinner, Sunday brunch, date night. At the top of the list are gender roles.

Here’s the deal: while talking to an acquaintance the other night, I was startled to hear him note that in the several years he spent as a single in Atlanta, he never once had to ask a woman out. Even his wife was the first one to ask him out. After I chided him, he admitted he would have asked women on dates, but simply never got the chance. They always beat him to the punch. Based on traditional gender roles, there is something seriously wrong with this picture.

But what exactly are the traditional gender roles?

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Singleness is not a disease to be cured; it is a stage of life to be enjoyed. Too often, we try to rush through it.”

I had another article picked up by!